heart

06.13.2013

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XH4JaVgHTg]
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The hum, the lid of a teapot vibrating just as the water begins to boil, before it whistles and the process is over.  The water is simmering, bubbling within and there is hardly a second before the teapot lets out a shrill ring.  A patient person would be waiting, perhaps snatching a cup and preparing the tea.  I would be hovering over it. Waiting, watching so I could turn off the stove at just the right moment.  If there is such a thing.   It’ll be over soon, the water will be boiled, tea will be made.

It seems as though the end of the semester has everyone on edge.  Tense. Poised over the teapot, hovering.  Finals, looming around the corner, waiting to give a shrill whistle.  Moving out. Saying goodbye for the summer.  Going home.  Tea will be made.

As time continues to move I find myself in the same positions. Eager for summer, hesitant to leave my friends. Fretting over finals, and finishing up midterms.  I can feel myself becoming anxious and the stress is finally starting to hit.  Itching with a kind of  ‘go, go, go’ mentality I feel as though I can’t sit still.  Moving, thinking, my brain is whirring at a hundred miles an hour (at least!) but still, I feel as though I can’t catch up.  There is so much to be done and more and more, frustration boils inside of me.

I’ve moved back to sitting at my desk. My chair, rocking back and forth I crack my knuckles and click a pen on my desk.  Bad habits, anxiety.   One month of school is all that’s left but it seems like hardly enough time.  I can feel myself begin to smirk,  so this is cramming.  The lists, like bubbles in the hot water, growing, stretching  strewn everywhere, in my phone, on my computer, all over my desk, in my backpack… endless lists and each one is filled with more things ‘to do’ than the next.  A large stack of papers sits on my printer.  “to be sorted” the sticky note reads, above them.  Too much to do.  So little time.

For now, the semester is simmering.  The end is near… such a good first year.