Thanksgiving. Turkey Day. It goes by a lot of names. In retrospect, I know that this time, last year… I never thought life would have turned and twisted in the way it did. Looking back has made me a little shell shocked. It only made me feel quite a bit more than a year older. I had just applied for colleges, no idea what was in store for me or my family…
I’d only just visited Sonoma State days before… seen the agility course on the way back and felt that there was where I needed to be. I didn’t think about the past, or the future. I was focused on the present.
They say time puts a perspective on life. I believe experiences can change your life, if you let them. But you could always be like Edna Mode and “never look back”
However, if you really think about it, it’s not exactly possible to move forward without occasionally stepping back into the past.
Yesterday, I missed David. So much so that it hurt. I woke up this morning and couldn’t eat breakfast, in my head, I could see David. Like he was coming, on his way… washing dishes and making little jokes about everything. Keeping the mood light even though anyone could see both sides of my family picking appart each other’s flaws. He was there. In my head of course.
The night before, I’d noticed that my Mom had placed some of placeholder silverware bundles on a pile on the table, curious to see what clever creation she’d come up with I walked over to look. On the top of the stack was a little bundle with the name “David” scrawled on it. I drew in my breath sharply, picking up the little bundle with care. He would be there with us.
Thanksgiving Day, as Deanne, Ava, Hanna (and I’m sure David) arrived, Deanne had brought a picture of David as well as his A’s hat… I retrieved his Cal jacket from the closet and we made his place at the table.
When it came time for appetizers, my Mom began to pour carrot soup. She poured the soup, garnishing it with a bit of sour cream….
As the sour cream fell into the little cup of soup it fell into a perfect heart (by the time I retrieved my camera, this is how the heart looked). David was here! I couldn’t help but smile, Thanksgiving wasn’t thanksgiving without David.